Choosing Funeral Music and Readings

Can we choose our own music, poems, or readings?

You absolutely can.

Personalisation is one of the most meaningful parts of any ceremony. Music, poems, and readings have a remarkable ability to set the tone, evoke memories, and help people feel connected to the person they’re honouring.

Many families worry about “what’s allowed,” but the truth is wonderfully simple: almost anything is possible. Modern crematoria and funeral venues are far more flexible than people expect, and you have far more creative freedom than you might imagine.

Choosing the right words and music isn’t about following a template - it’s about capturing the essence of the person you love.

The Music

Music is often the emotional heartbeat of a ceremony. Music touches us all in many ways.  Whether you want something classical, contemporary, spiritual, humorous, or completely unexpected, most crematoria can play almost any track you choose. You can even have live musicians - a singer, a guitarist, a violinist, a choir, or a favourite local band. If you've written a piece yourself, this can also be uploaded onto the music library.

Your choices shape the atmosphere of the day. A single piece of music can bring warmth, comfort, or even a smile. I’ve been at many funerals where “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” or “Ring of Fire” has lifted the room, reminding everyone of the person’s humour and spirit.

And then there was the unforgettable service where all the children (and lots of the adults!) got up and danced to the Birdie Song halfway through - it was perfect for the family in that moment, though none of us realised it had quite so many verses!

Music doesn’t have to be solemn. It simply has to feel a true reflection of the person you’re honouring.

The Readings

Readings offer another way to bring meaning and personality into the ceremony. You can choose:

• Poems

• Extracts from books or prose

• Letters or messages

• Song lyrics

• Something written by a family member

• Something humorous, heartfelt, spiritual, or reflective

  
  

Some families choose well‑known poems; others prefer something obscure or deeply personal. There’s no requirement to be formal or literary. A simple memory, a favourite quote, or a few heartfelt words can be just as powerful as a published poem. At a recent service, I read a poem which had been on a favourite, well used tea towel.

If several people want to contribute, readings can be woven throughout the ceremony, creating a gentle rhythm of voices and memories.

Make It Yours

The most important thing is that the ceremony feels like the person you’re saying goodbye to.  Not a template.  Not a standard script. Something shaped with intention, warmth, and authenticity.

If they loved musicals, choose a show tune. If they adored nature, pick a poem about the seasons. If they were known for their humour, let the ceremony hold moments of laughter. If they were quiet and reflective, choose something gentle and spacious.

There are no rules — only possibilities.

If you’d like help choosing music or readings, I can offer suggestions that match your loved one’s personality and the atmosphere you want to create. Together, we can shape something that feels beautifully true to them.