Myths About Cremation

Cremation is one of those topics people think they “should” understand, yet very few actually do. When someone dies, families often carry quiet, private fears — the kind they whisper at the end of a meeting or save until everyone else has left the room.

Every week, I sit with families who are trying to make sense of something they’ve never had to organise before. It’s no wonder myths creep in — whispered stories, half‑remembered “facts”, and things people have heard from a friend of a friend.

Some of these myths cause unnecessary worry. Others stop people from choosing the kind of farewell that would genuinely honour the person they love.

So today, I want to gently clear the fog. Here are the most common myths I hear about funerals and cremation — and the truths that bring a little more ease.

Myths About Cremation

“Cremation is a modern idea.”

Not at all. Cremation has been part of human ritual for thousands of years. The earliest known evidence of a cremation is around 40,000 years ago at Lake Mungo in Australia.  20,000 years on, cremation was still practiced by the ancient Greeks.  Modern organised cremations began in Europe in the 19^th century with the fist crematorium opening in the UK in 1885.  So, it’s not new — it’s simply become more familiar. 

“They cremate more than one person at a time.”

This is one of the biggest fears people carry, and it’s completely unfounded. UK law requires that only one person is cremated at a time.  Bar coding systems are used in funeral homes and morgues to trace the chain of custody for each person from admission to the mortuary to the final release for burial or cremation, where they are checked for the final time.  Families can take comfort in knowing the process is respectful and individual.

There are some exceptions to the rule.  In such circumstances, for example, siblings or twins pass away together, or a mother and her stillborn baby, the family can request in writing that they are cremated together.  As cremation chambers are designed to fit only one standard adult coffin at a time, they would be placed in the same coffin.

“Coffins are reused.”

Absolutely not.  Coffins are never reused. What you choose is what accompanies your person into the cremator. Even with direct cremation providers who use an outer shell for transport, the inner coffin is always new and always cremated.

“Will I see the coffin “go down” at the end of the service?

No.  You will have the option to leave the curtain open or have it closed.  In most crematoria, that is the only movement you’ll see.  There are rare instances where you might see the coffin disappearing, but they are being moved into a holding area only.  These days, it’s very unusual to see that (as a funeral celebrant, I’ve never seen it).

In some cases, Hindu or Sikh traditions for example, families might request to witness the “charging” which is the actual pushing of the coffin into the cremator.

“Does the coffin really go into the cremator?”

Yes, it does. Coffins are never reused. What you choose is what accompanies your loved one.

“Ashes are just like fireplace ash.”

Cremated remains are actually processed bone fragments which have been carefully refined into a soft, pale, consistent sand‑like texture. They’re not ash from burning wood, and they’re handled with great care.

“You don’t get all of your loved one’s ashes back.”

You do. Everything is kept together, identified using the bar code system, and returned to you.  Nothing is shared or mixed.  What you receive is your person’s remains only, plus tiny amounts of coffin residue.

“Jewellery and implants melt away.”

Jewellery is only removed before the coffin is sealed at the family’s request and this takes place at the Funeral Directors. 

Most metals don’t melt at cremation temperatures, which can reach 1,800°F, but they will most likely partially melt or bend.  They’re removed afterwards using a magnet and are ethically recycled, often with proceeds going to charity local to the crematorium.  

Gold and platinum can withstand the temperatures without suffering significant damage.

Most gemstones are more susceptible to damage, but the more durable stones such as diamonds and sapphires may survive in small fragments or, depending on their size, may survive the process almost intact (having lost their surrounding mounts).

“What if they have a pacemaker?”

If the person has a pacemaker, this is removed by a fully trained mortician or funeral director prior to the funeral to prevent it from exploding in the cremation chamber.  This is carried out because of the batteries it contains which can cause damage to both the cremator and staff.

“Cremation isn’t allowed in most religions.”

Many faiths accept cremation, including the Church of England, Catholicism (since the 1960s), Hinduism, Sikhism, and many Buddhist traditions. Some still prefer burial — but cremation is far from forbidden.

“If we choose cremation, we can’t have a proper funeral.”

You absolutely can. Cremation simply gives you more flexibility. You can hold a service before, after, or completely separately from the cremation itself — at home, in a garden, on a beach, or anywhere meaningful.

“Direct cremation is a pauper’s funeral.”

This is an outdated and unfair idea. Direct cremation is a choice which is increasing in popularity — often made by people who want simplicity, privacy, or the freedom to create a more personal gathering later. It’s not a public health funeral, and it’s not a sign of not caring.  It’s simply a matter of personal choice.

If you feel that direct cremation is the right choice for you or a family member, PLEASE use a local funeral director and don't call a company from a TV ad.

“Choosing cremation means we’re taking the easy way out.”

There is no “easy way” when someone dies. Cremation is simply one option. Many families choose it because it gives them time, space, and control — and that can be a gift.

“Can something go wrong?”

Crematoria follow strict legal procedures, identification checks, and professional standards. The process is far more regulated than most people realise.

A Final Word

When we understand what actually happens, cremation becomes far less frightening.

Knowledge brings steadiness. Steadiness brings choice.

And choice is what allows families to create a farewell that feels true.

If you’re facing decisions about cremation — or you simply want to understand your options — I’m here to guide you gently through it.

You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Reach out to me if you’d like a conversation, a planning session, or support in shaping a ceremony that honours your person with warmth and authenticity.