Why Did I Become A Funeral Celebrant?

I often get asked “how did you end up doing this work?  Isn’t it depressing?”  Depressing is the last thing it is.

To be honest, it’s something that I’ve wanted to do for many years.  Looking back, since a very young age I’ve always been interested in death and dying and it’s never held any fear for me, so I guess the seed was sown in my early years.

I’ve also been on a spiritual path since my teens and my belief is that our body is just a vessel and that when we leave this planet, our soul lives on.  That’s something I’ve had confirmed by my husband who died in 2023, but that’s another story that can be found in my upcoming book.

Having said that, I don’t discuss my beliefs with families – unless they specifically ask, which is very rare (though I did have a conversation a few weeks ago with a lovely 86-year-old man about aliens, which was really unexpected!).  I honour the family’s beliefs and religions and work with them in a way that reflects their own values.

Before John (my husband) died in 2023, I’d already decided to begin my training as a funeral celebrant, but he became ill and those plans had to be put aside for a while. 

Instead, I became his primary carer for 13 months until he died peacefully, beautifully at home.  John’s funeral was my first “official” ceremony even though I hadn’t even started my training at that point.  Although it was a difficult, emotional thing to do, it became the proudest day of my life.  It was the final gift that John gave to me and in turn, his funeral was my final gift to him.

Since then, I’ve completed my training and am now a full-time celebrant.  I focus on funerals, even though I’m also trained in weddings.  For some reason, weddings don’t really call to me as much as funerals.

I'm proud to say that John had a very good death, which also set me on another path of becoming a Soul Midwife – helping the dying and their families to peacefully and gently walk the same path as the one I experienced.

I get so much satisfaction from helping families create their final gift to their person and I truly love what I do.

I love the way that a funeral can be anything you like – it can be solemn, it can be fun, it can be crazy.  There are no rules.  Your person can arrive on a motorbike and sidecar, or even a donkey drawn cart.  You can all get up and dance the funky chicken halfway through the service. 

I love being able to craft a ceremony that truly reflects the person.

And back to the “is it depressing?” question – most of us in the world of funerals – whether that’s the Funeral Director, the Celebrant or the Crematorium staff – have an amazing, always respectful, sense of humour, and we all love what we do. 

It’s a true vocation – one I wish I’d found earlier.